Waiting

I am not a patient wait-er. I think you know what I mean. Waiting in line at Ralph’s in the 5:00 afternoon rush, or waiting on the phone—way beyond reason—to be connected to the person I need to talk to gives me the fidgets.

Right now, my husband Larry and I are waiting on a matter of great magnitude. At times, it’s kept me awake in the night . . .  and made my mind run to the worst outcome. The wait has stretched long beyond what we had hoped.

But in waits of consequence, I do find myself coming to God with my impatient prayers and taking Him up on his “cast all your cares upon him” offer (1 Peter 5:7). He knows me—my hopes, my needs, my impatience with the lengthening wait. I can rest and trust Him in that.

On the back page of my Bible, I’m making a growing list of verses that talk about waiting. Exodus 12:40 recounts the Israelites waiting 430 years in Egypt. Yikes!  

It heartens me to read: “morning by morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation” (Psalm 5:3). Expecting God to hear and help.

And I love Psalm 33:20-22, “We wait in hope for the Lord . . . for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you.” Hope and unfailing love. It’s what He gives at times like this.

C.S. Lewis said, “I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait.” Got it.

And Elisabeth Elliot understands the depths of waiting: “Waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting hearts to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one’s thoughts.” She’s right. It’s the uncertainty that’s gnawing at me and sends me to God’s arms.

So I’m trying to find contentment—even joy!—in the wait. I don’t want to foolishly miss the good in “now.” The wait could be time to reconcile myself to news I don’t want to hear when the wait is over. To be ready. It could be a rest in the road to read or quilt or play with grandkids or care for friends who have their own waits. I think it’s called “living in the moment,” even as I impatiently wait.

This I know. God’s love is unfailing and that is where I put my hope. So for now, I’m waiting.