God at my Window
by Jenni Key
May 29, 2019
Rick Warren opened his book, The Purpose Driven Life, with this line: “It’s not about you.”
Mike Erre said, as part of a sermon: “Make no mistake about it—the movie of your life is a war movie . . . and you don’t even play a starring role.”
But why do I so often get this wrong? I deceive myself that I’m the center of my own universe. Or I take everything about myself so seriously, and the things of God so lightly. Of course it’s the other way around: awesome, omnipotent, magnificent God of all the universe, that’s who He is. And me? Dust.
Did you happen to follow The Lent Project with so many of us this year? Produced by Biola University’s Center for Christianity, Culture and the Arts, it included Scripture, music, poetry, art and an essay each day from March 5-April 28 and was simply outstanding. In the first week of the Project, I was introduced to this poet and her work:
by Dorianne Laux
Someone spoke to me last night,
told me the truth. Just a few words,
but I recognized it.
I knew I should make myself get up,
write it down, but it was late,
and I was exhausted from working
all day in the garden, moving rocks.
Now, I remember only the flavor —
not like food, sweet or sharp.
More like a fine powder, like dust.
And I wasn’t elated or frightened,
but simply rapt, aware.
That’s how it is sometimes —
God comes to your window,
all bright light and black wings,
and you’re just too tired to open it.
I think I sighed when I read that last line. If it wasn’t an actual sigh it definitely was a metaphorical one. I sighed for the God-sightings I’ve missed because my attention was diverted. I sighed for the blessings I’ve missed because I’ve been too busy, too self-concerned, too cautious or cowardly to respond to a God-nudge.
Thank you, Dorianne Laux, for the truth of this line: “That’s how it is sometimes — God comes to your window, all bright light and black wings, and you’re just too tired to open it.” I needed to hit the pause button and just sit with that thought. Because it’s not about me, but it is all about Him. And because He is the star of the movie of each of our lives.
Oh Father, may I never be too tired, too lazy, too disinterested, too self-consumed to respond to Your Presence at my window.
Jenni serves on our staff, shepherding the areas of prayer and women’s ministries. Her best times of opening the God window occur early in the morning, accompanied by a cup of tea in a bone china tea cup.
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