The Balance

Having a child seven months ago really changed me.

As it should, you may say. But can we pause for a moment to think of how crazy it is, that within a single day, the birth of your first child, all of your priorities can shift and realign around this tiny human?

For someone who finds her identity in work—reaching milestones and achieving goals—this was a massive change. If I looked impressive, I was content. If I felt stagnant, I felt worthless. But having a baby turned so much of that on its head.

Oddly enough, I am simultaneously more focused but also more detached from my work and hobbies. Focused, because if I’m spending time on anything away from my baby, it must be really important or meaningful. Detached, because none of this seems to matter anymore in the face of my James.

I wonder if this is the way God wishes for us to approach life: simultaneous focus and detachment. Life deserves our focus. Apparently, the odds of being born are 1:400 trillion. And yet, here you are. So the challenge is, what are you going to do with it? Yet, some healthy detachment is also in order because we are not of this world. We don’t need to get bogged down in regrets, current events or anxieties about the future. Our hope is in Him alone.

I’ve found this concept of holding two seemingly opposite things comes up quite often in life. It can feel disorienting and confusing. But Jesus had this balancing act perfected.

He spoke the truth plainly for all to hear, making His heart and will clearly known. But He also graciously accepts us as we are (Luke 15:11-32).

He chose the cross, giving it to us as a free gift, all the while knowing the costliness of such a sacrifice.

Just another reason to be in awe at the perfection of Jesus.

Although I feel like I’m learning this massive lesson through my child, I by no means have this balancing act perfected. I’m not entirely sure if we’re ever meant to feel like we do.

And even through this, God still gently reminds me that James is not the anchor of my life. Jesus is.