Let the Light in

It had been a long, hard day full of unexpected hurdles at work and even bigger parenting hurdles waiting for me at home. I was sad, frustrated and disheartened. I pulled out the cutting board to prep for dinner and began to chop with an intensity that matched my emotions. And when there was nothing left to chop, and my eyes were beginning to well up (and not from the onions), I seemed to hear a voice speak to my heart: “Let the light in.” 

I instinctively went over to the curtains and pulled them open to see the beauty of the early evening as the sun shone through. “Yes, that is nice.” I thought as the rays sparkled on the counter in front of me. “But it’s not going to fix anything.” My heart was still heavy knowing I didn’t have any of the answers to my current hurdles. As I finished prepping dinner and put it in the oven, I felt the pull to actually go outside and experience the remaining sunlight and fresh air.

I went out the front door, put in my earbuds and set my worship playlist to shuffle. True confessions, worship music was not something I had been listening to much these days. Not because I don’t value it (there have been numerous times I have connected with God through honest worship, and seasons where it was what I listened to the most), but because lately it had all seemed a little too polished and sanitized. 

My heart had become a bit hardened and definitely cynical. And yet as I walked the familiar neighborhood sidewalks, I heard it again… “Let the light in.” I watched the finale of sunlight dancing through the tree leaves and breathed it all in. The worship songs that played during that time were exactly what I needed that evening. Yes, it was a worship playlist that I myself had curated, but God used it in that moment to speak to me and connect me back to him in a brand new way. I was reminded that he is the Ancient of Days and yet making all things new. He is eternal and yet meets us in the here and now. 

That day began a “heart thaw” where as the sunlight illuminated the beauty around me, God’s pure and gentle light also illuminated the ways my heart had grown cynical, untrusting and closed off. I love the way John introduces Jesus in his gospel. John 1:4-5 says “In him was life and the life was the light of all mankind. The light shone in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” It’s a good reminder that our light does not come from something conjectured or artificial, but it comes from the very son of God. Though this doesn’t remove the hurdles from our lives it does give us a reason to face them with hope and trust. We don’t have to choose fear or cynicism or hopelessness because the darkness will not overcome the light.